Funeral Wishes
by Athena's Owl
Summary: 20 things John Sheppard wants at his funeral. Not as sad as it sounds. Chapter two: It is Rodney's turn!
1. John

_Hey peoples. I am in a strange mood. And I am hyper. So forth comes this story. Watch me turn a tragedy in a comedy with a snap of the fingers. _

1) Don't do any long and dramatic speeches about how you will all miss me, the great things I have done, the amount you people have and do love me yadda yadda yadda. Trust me I know.

2) Don't do any long and dramatic speeches including poetry and profound things in life. I am dead already and I don't need to die of boredom.

3) Comfy pillow in the coffin please.

4) If anybody breaks down into REALLY emotional tears and starts sobbing "He was my best friend" or something along those lines whack 'em upside the head (especially if they weren't my best friend)

5) If said person continues to sob emotionally tell them "Well he's not anymore is he?"

6) Thinking back on statements 1 and 2 you can elaborate a little bit. I need some love.

7) Whatever you do don't burry me anywhere near my grandmother. Not even in the same cemetery, you hear me? I don't need to be any where that old bat.

8) If there isn't a body don't waste money on an empty coffin. Seriously use it to buy something good. (The T.V in the rec. could be replaced for example)

9) Serve turkey sandwiches at the party afterwards.

10) Have a party afterwards.

11) DON"T RUIN THE HAIR OR I WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU

12) No clowns.

13) Returning to statement 7, I would rather not be buried. Think of something creative all right? And don't include Ronon in that creative license.

14) If you are having the funeral because I have been MIA for too long don't be too emotional or pessimistic. _**I'll be back. **_

15) Don't let McKay use any movie quotes. Or comic or T.V Show. Specifically Batman.

16) Also if McKay mentions leadership, kill him. I'd like some company.

17) Hope and pray to god that all those comments about 'Go to hell' didn't come true. I've been there once already. MX3 P7R. People were a bit violent and you had to watch out for the spontaneously combusting columns of flame but the sunsets were nice.

18) If other people died mention them too. As I said I like company. I don't say I am selfish.

19) If I died because of some stupid thing make up something more extravagant. Like I died in some intricate revenge plot for thwarting a murderer in an innocent village. And children. I died saving children.

20) Can someone be 'buried' on a Ferris wheel?

_Thanks for reading! Drop a review? _↓


	2. Rodney

_The hyperness is back. Although not in full force as it was last night. Due to multiple requests I am continuing. It is Rodney's turn! Not as good but I actually had to think this time because I wasn't on a sugar high. _

1) If Sheppard killed me, kill him back

2) If someone else killed me because Sheppard said to, kill them and Sheppard

3) Don't serve anything with citrus, it will offend my memory

4) Remember to mention in a dramatic speech all the heroic deeds I have done, how much you people love me, how much you always will yadda, yadda, yadda

5) Let my cat-sitter know

6) There is a theorem for en equation that the science teams are working on that might be helpful in my desk drawer, besides the pencils, underneath the notes for the ZPM problem, left of the empty coffee mug, above the snickers wrapper, and underneath another sheaf or notes that got coffee spilled on them.

7) This is the bottom right hand drawer of the 3rd desk

8) If anybody can find my notes on leadership I would be honored if you read them out

9) If you want me to rest in peace find out who stole my smarties last month

10) If you don't then screw you

11) No sarcastic remarks, I'm sure everyone wants to hear them

12) If Sheppard plays Under Pressure one more time while in the jumper tell him he is more then welcome to join me

13) Actually have Teyla do the speech, she is the least likely to say something stupid (No offense Elizabeth but your words are rather pointless. No one understands them)

14) If Conon wants to say something don't let him, he'll just grunt

15) On second thoughts don't let Conon anywhere near me, or rather the body.

16) If there isn't a body make one. There is a machine in ancient lab 256 that hasn't exploded, created visions, given people super powers, caused some hologram to show up or released radioactive energy. I think it makes bodies. All be it miniature ones.

17) Scratch the note above. I refuse to be a dead mini-me.

18) If Sheppard isn't dead yet (which would be surprising given his hero and self sacrificing complex) tell him I'll see him in hell. And no not MX3 P7R.

19) If Madison wants she can have one of my pens.

20) Two words. Blue Jell-O.

_Kisses! And review please! ☻_


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